My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
