I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine