There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
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There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.