These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
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Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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