Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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