I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
