i already hear my dad disowning me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
