yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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