Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Im part way to drunk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
