Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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