he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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