oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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