so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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