hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So many bounce houses so little time
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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