Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
