1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
