I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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