Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
