if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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