You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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