My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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