can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize