he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
