jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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