at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
