I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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