Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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