If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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