My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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