If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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