I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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