Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
