he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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