Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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