The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
