is your mom at the bar?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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