it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
