Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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