You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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