whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
