I showed him my bush... on skype.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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