if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
