so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
