Umm I'm too high to move.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
