so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
