Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
