we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional