So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs