I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.