awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.