I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
