Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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