im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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