There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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