Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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