I'm eating all of the evidence.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
