planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
