So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
