my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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