Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize