I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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