but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
