I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
