i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
