It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm always down for nudity.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
