Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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