I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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