the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
