Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
