He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
